Over Heard at Breakfast

Mikel Weisser July 10, 2013 0

Poem by Mikel Weisser


She turned and laughed to her friend

“Well, I’ve been cheating on my diet this weekend.”

The friend laughed back

and i turned to look

and you could see it was true

i mean there we were in a Waffle House

and there she was fucking with a waffle


Of course the diet found out about it


That night when she came home

the diet was strangely silent with her

scanned the rental listings

while pretending to stare at the sports page

got drunk early

fell asleep on the couch


the next morning when she opened her eyes in the shower

she found the diet had been standing there staring

it left its ooze on the curtain


the diet started picking fights about nothing

the diet started interrupting  her when she was on the phone


beer bottles started camping by the television set

she thought later that when the diet finally confronted her

that that would be the worst of it

but the diet lost control of itself

the diet started trashing her in public

it threw a can of Pepsi 1 into the bedroom mirror

missing her by this much


the diet followed her to work

sitting for hours in the dark

smoking in the car

mounding the bruised butts

like a pyramid to betrayal


the diet stayed out overnight and wouldn’t tell her where it’d been

till that afternoon she found the used twinkie wrapper

on the floorboards of the back seat of the diet’s car


she rolled to the floor of that dirty parking garage

she couldn’t even remember the waffle’s name!


she remembered when she and the diet had just started together

how cute they looked together

she wondered if she and the diet would ever trust each other again


eventually they spent some time in counseling

the diet somehow managed to call her bitch 40 times in a 50 minute hour

the diet got hammered in a bar

and scrawled her name and number

on a bathroom stall wall


this guy started calling

he wouldn’t stop

They had to change her number to get away from that creep

somehow she learned to live like that

it might’ve been months


The closest the diet ever came to apologizing

was one morning she woke to find the diet sitting up in bed beside her

the diet said, “You’re looking fat.”

then snuggled up around her and fell off to sleep

in that one certain way

that she knew was the closest she would get

to hearing the words, “I care.”